Vainglory Forums

I appreciate you humbling me with my multiple losses in a row! (14 straight I believe.) You knocked me down to "Decentish" before I could even bat an eye, pairing me with "Saws" that like to stay in the jungle, or a "Krul" that feels his regen is better than a turret while he is at level 1. Or how about that "Ringo" that followed me around to snipe every last hit in the jungle and kept putting the smiley face up on the screen! Those were great times! I didn't think it could get any worse until I realized I was in the "Not Bad" category and playing with folks that have played a handful of times. I bet your curious as to how I would know that. Well, lets just say they worried more about trying to figure out the visual indicators in the game and less time about anything else. One of my favs was the Taka that thought they would try to attack the other teams Crystal. Great in theory had we destroyed any of their turrets. The kid had guts!

Now I do admit, I didn't always make the right moves either. There was that time when I was using "Saw" and the "Ardan" on my team was running around the map. If I were to imagine the person controlling him, it would have been Warren from There's Something About Mary. Seriously, if there were in game chat, he would have been typing "Franks and Beans!". While he was running around, I tried to ace the team as I had just solo'd it before. Did I mention our third player had dropped off within the first three mins of Warren's rendition of Braveheart. Anyways, back to the Ace. I killed Ringo fairly quickly. I took out Glaive but had very little health left. I stayed in and was one hit away from killing their Ardan and I died. At that point Braveheart Warren jumps in, mind you with full health, and ran around their Ardan while he got beat like a tetherball. What can I say, I'm not perfect! I made mistakes that cost me to drop.

I tell you this not so that you will feel sorry for me. I tell you this to reassure you that I will not leave you even though you have given me every STD and yet still won't call me the next day. I will not leave you even though your pairing abilities seem to favor me winning the lottery before winning another game.

No...I will not leave! In fact, I will return victorious! I will run through you like those laxative brownies I mailed to the Super Evil MegaCorp main office! Enjoy btw! I'm off to another match. Thank you and Good Night!

P.s. If you do receive brownies, it wasn't me! I promise! I was kinda kidding! ;)

Hilarious! And true ... I finally hit The Hotness two days ago and came home to play a couple games last night. Feeling confident in my skills and the matchmaking system I logged on and got paired with players all night that I KNOW where not in the same skill level. No player in The Hotness level builds a Krul with all defense and no cool down and goes 3/16/3. His iPad must have been broken. Poor guy just kept getting sucked into 1v3 fights and couldn't turn around. And next cam the match with a Koshka on my team that built all defense. Playing A nice tanky Catherine I felt sure that I could soak up the damage while Koshka did her thing in a nicely set trap. As she twirled and sliced I realized the enemies health bars weren't dropping! Laying a nice stun on their Ringo who had over extended I was sure our Koshka would tear him to shreds but,alas, our Koshka went out. Twirled like she was having an epileptic seizure and proceeded to run away and die giving a happy thumbs up from the respawn. WTF?!
Seriously. What has happened to matchmaking? Looking at the player builds in game and end game I know that there is no way they have made it to the same skill level I am at.
I'll wait an extra minute to pair me with similarly skilled teammates. Better than spending twenty minutes in the fold with mentally handicapped buffoons.
Love the game-fix the matchmaking. Whatever you did in the last update ... Undo it! Please 😘